159) The Terenure Inn (Crimmins) of Terenure Road North, D6W

Crimmins, the bar, is a respectable tavern where a delicious Beamish used to bond at €4.40 a pint - who knows how much it costs now! The much larger lounge is all about food and very often you’ll have to suffer to sit next to some insufferable gobshite eating a fat fillet steak off a sizzling roof slate. This ridiculous trend, where the animal is still frying, smokes out the entire lounge. You’ll get a great pint of Guinness for a knockdown pricy price (though nothing compared to the sins committed in the city centre). There’s an impressive vestibule aligned with hundreds of bottles of glittering whiskeys, resplendent in the sunshine.

The bar, being the more traditional and comfortable setting is certainly worthy of a visit. One regrettable smear is the young and unfriendly barman who wears a Hitler hairdo. You’ll find him draped in Christian iconography and unwilling to greet, thank, or even make eye contact with patrons. He’s about as welcoming as a wet sock. Sack that twat! You’ll have more pluck with barkeep ‘Kevin’ who’s a character - if after hours you chance your arm and ask for ‘one for the road’ he’ll fake fury by shouting and stamping in protest. Not ten minutes later the drink will calmly and discreetly be placed on your table. Long live Kevin! The superb Indian restaurant the ‘Vermilion’ is operational upstairs and the two businesses feed into each other.

The Terenure Inn was made unforgettable to us by an unsmiling elder barman in the lounge who, upon being asked for 'Two pints of Guinness,' replied, indelibly, lispingly, creepily, 'Two nice pints...' Thus was a catchphrase and in-joke unknowingly begat forever after!

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